bill and erik

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 18:19:39 GMT

Hey everyone. I hope the New Year is going good for most of you. I'm busy trying to finish up a bunch of loose ends from last year and a couple of things for this year. One of which is a Bill and Erik comic for this year's Staple! program. While I'm busy with those things (and not working on my beloved human and beaver funnies) I figured I would post last year's program insert to tide you over. The strip was meant as a general (read: not vulgar) intoduction so event-goers could get but a small taste of Bill and Erik. See ya soon (I hope).

Bill's Christmas Wish

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 16:08:33 GMT

I hope everyone is having a nice holiday time. See you next year! 2K9, you better come correct.

Erik is at the Supermarket

Fri, 05 Dec 2008 17:13:23 GMT

Bill and Erik will be taking a break. I have a couple of things that I absolutely must focus on and then on top of that, a couple projects that need to get done before the end of the year. However, the comic strip will return with a healthy-sized Christmas comic before Christmas. I wrote the thing out already and it's huge so I have to edit a bit or spend my entire "break" working on it.

Moving on, I hope everyone had a nice Spanksgiving and gave much thanks and spanks. I, stupidly, went to a mall the day after Spanksgiving. I was in the car headed that direction when I realized:

1. Oh shit, it's the day after Thanksgiving, and

2. I hate malls

But for some reason, this mall was not crowded to an annoying degree. It's a mostly outside, open-air mall and it was kind of nice. I just went to pal along with my sister but I ended up finding three gifts. Plus I had this exchange with the cashier at William-Sonoma.

Cashier: (After ringing me up) Would you like to make a donation to help the Children's (miracle health hospital something) fund?

Me: Oh lord no.

Cashier: (Completely frozen in terror. Does not know how to respond.)

Me: (Sensing that my joke was not well-received) Haha. Just kidding, I'll donate.

Cashier: Okay. How much would you like to donate?

Me: One dollar.

Also, in not-really related news, I found out something that I had wondered about at one point. And now I feel bad for knowing.

Progress

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 18:20:36 GMT

Lemme see we got Bill, old Bill, clone of Bill, fully sentient robot Bill, and who knows what it is but I bet it's something really awesome but disappointingly commercial from the future Bill.

Have a Happy Spanksgiving America. And be sure to give thanks for all the spanks you got this year.

Mac's Dating Tips

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 07:23:14 GMT

*Whew* This strip just got out of hand.

Sorry for the delay but I got caught up in the election coverage last night. I'm kinda tired right now or I'd yak more. I'm even too tired for fourth meal, my favorite meal of the day.

Tommy's Annual Halloween Party

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 08:35:53 GMT

Erik is Judah Friedlander's character from 30 Rock, Frank Rossitano. Y'know, before I added the make-up around the eyes and mouth and the other colors, they all just looked like Weekend Update-era Dennis Miller.

It's no secret that a lot of women's halloween costumes are sexied up, but that still doesn't stop me from being surprised and amused at some of the outfits on BuyCostumes.com. For example, there are some that seem pretty weak in concept, others that seem very far from obvious, and some that really don't make the "sexy" conversion well at all. That's not even scratching the surface at how stupid some of these costumes are, so feel free to browse around. It's too late for this year, of course, but you know, if you're looking for a dumb + bo-nar-tastic costume for next year, go nuts.

Update: Apparently they had the same joke on the Office last night. Blerg

Profanity Pals!

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 20:36:04 GMT

Mix and match to create your own combinations! Yay! This may seem like the cheapest comic I've ever done but once I thought of it I couldn't not do it. I felt compelled. I imagine most of you will think this comic is (click here).

But in all seriousness, whoever discovers my body, please tell the newspapers that this is the comic strip I wished to be remembered by. Halloween comic next week.

Issues Voter

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 18:17:44 GMT

I don't know about you but proper tooth care is the issue that determines who I vote for, that's why I'll be writing in the name of my dentist on the ballot. I encourage you to do the same. Meaning write in my dentist's name as well. it's "Dr. Smiles."

This comic goes out to my boy Nick C, who was always a big Tommy supporter.

UrbanDictionary.com is about as bullshit as a site can be, but I do like their third definition of Nuprin. I do not like their second definition of Nuprin.

Notice: One more Membership Drive show left for the Mascot Wedding show.

Erik's Open Letters #3

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 07:10:15 GMT

Forget what I said about big news. I changed my mind.

Update: The Fall membership (pledge) drive for KOOP Austin hits my radio show this weekend. Anyone who pledges at least $25 dollars will get an exclusive comedy album featuring myself, David Jara and John Erler. For more information (more than you wanted, I'm sure) visit the Mascot Wedding site.

It's Not Going to Work Out

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 09:00:28 GMT

A lot of UHs and UMs in the comic lately. I guess that's what you get when you're re-writing dialogue at 3:30 in the morning.

Virtuosity is never on! That robot's just telling him what he wants to hear.

Oh man, this is the 25th comic of season 10 which means I don't think I can put off the news any longer. Big news coming up. I think. Urg, maybe not. We'll see. Now I've changed my mind again.

Mural

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 08:00:54 GMT

You know the weird thing? I didn't do the sixth panel in color, but Photoshop has a default Hall and Oates setting that automatically converted their likeness to RGB color. Weird.

Scared Straight

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 19:51:46 GMT

I've been struggling-ling-ling to finish these strips by Wednesday. Things have been pretty hectic lately. I want this current strip to have some time on the main page so look for the next update Thursday (hopefully).

Secret Stash

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 08:25:00 GMT

Update: Revised comic uploaded.

By the way, the 'classic' bill and erik on Austinist.com this week is one that appeared in the Daily Texan but was never uploaded to the archive. So chances are good it's new to a lot of you. Check it out here and check out Austinist every Tuesday for a refurbished 'classic' comic.

The real Olympics

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 20:22:08 GMT

Is it too late for a joke about the Olympics? I would have done it last week but that comic was a loose end from the previous one. I know I'm sick of hearing about... Flips? Is that his name. Michael Flips? Won like 18 gold medals? Sick of hearing about it. Well the joke is over now. Go back to watching football. Go Romo!

I was also wondering if bee-effing was too cheap of a gag. So I called my friend Chopper Dave and he said it should be fine. So... thanks?

Scientific Guidance

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 05:34:54 GMT

Last week, no joke, I had a dream that I was in the cast of Cheers. Don't ask me if it was the Shelly Long or Kirstie Alley era because neither was in the dream. But it was definitely the Woody Harrelson era. Clearly this dream was telling me one thing: that I'm meant for something big.

God, I would strangle a grizzly bear for a Dr. Pepper right about now.

The coming war

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 00:37:30 GMT

Sorry for the delay. Thanks for your patience. Now on to the news.

Go vote for my new short film! Where have I been the past two weeks? Making this, an entry into the Alamo Drafthouse's Unnecessary Sequels Filmmaking Frenzy. It's a sequel to the 1987 Stallone movie about child custody and arm-wrestling. After you've watched it, please register a username and vote for it. The only way we can advance to the finals is with your votes. Voting ends Thursday night (I think) so don't delay!

ThatOtherPaper, which featured a newly-refurbished classic bill and erik every Monday, has stopped updating. So, now you can check out a newly-refurbished classic bill and erik every Tuesday over at Austinist.com. I'd like to thank ThatOtherPaper for their support and wish them well in their future endeavors. The folks behind it are a real class act. I would also like to say that I'm super-excited to be partnered with Austinist and I look forward to working with them every week. Awesome!

New short film! Over the Top 2!

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 20:34:14 GMT

If you've been wondering why there's been no new comic the last two weeks, it's because I've been working on this. It's Mascot Wedding's entry into a new video contest, the Unnecessary Sequels 2 Filmmaking Frenzy. It's a sequel to the 1980s Sylvester Stallone movie about arm wrestling (for realz). Please check it out and please please please go vote for it. The only way to get to the finals is if everyone registers and votes.

In other news, now that it's finished I'm free to work on more Bill and Erik! Huzzah! Now go vote for our film.

Commercials Today

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 06:36:02 GMT

You might think this comic strip is about a zany situation and humorous dialogue. How wrong you are. Man oh man, you are so wrong. I wish you were here so I could tell you just how wrong you are. I'd get real drunk and then take you for a drive if you catch my drift.

No, today's comic is about how the old days were dumb and old people just know dumb stuff and had dumb things and how we young people just have cool things and know smart stuff and how future generations will never look back on us, our ways, and our things and think that we're dumb. Yep. So feel free to make fun of old people confidant in the fact that the shoe will never be on the other foot because our shoes will be cool forever.

Sorry for the late update. I'm in the middle of a couple of other projects and my assistant up and quit this week. Yeah, Amber quit. Over this very comic no less. No, she didn't make the same mistake you made about zaniness. I was reading her the script and after I was done I said, "I wouldn't mind being encased in amber if youknowwhatImsayin." I was merely referring to my wish to have my dna preserved in amber so I could be cloned later but this crazy broad says something about this being "the last straw", packs up all the troll dolls that were on her desk, and hightails it out. Who is going to answer all my fan mail now? Me? Fuck that. FUCK THAT. I'd rather eat a propeller like that guy in Raiders of the Lost Ark. You know, that German guy, looked like a circus strongman? Bzzzz! Right to the face.

In all seriousness, I am working on a cool project and will have to take next week off from Bill and Erik. So see ya in two weeks.

Drunkberg

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 05:48:57 GMT

Man, when I get drunk, you bet your ass I want a quesadilla. I write from life, son. I like this comic, because it strikes me as an idea I could see Matthew McConaughey coming up with. "Get me Paramount on the phone. Steve Zahn could voice a smaller iceberg that does a lot of weed."

As anyone who has read this site for a while can guess, I fuggin lurfed The Dark Knight. I hope Marvel will look at the glowing reviews and the giant mountain of money Dark Knight made and realize they can make their movies a little darker. I want to see Spider-man punch someone's eyes out in the next movie. At least maybe have Iron Man do a line of coke off of a missile before he launches into action.

The Members of Dickwolf

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 10:55:04 GMT

Members of Dickwolf? Get it? Members? NEwayz...

It's amazing I went this long without having one character shoot another with a blow dart and that character falling into something funny, in this case a plate of indeterminate food. I say amazing, because of how often I think about shooting people with blow darts on a daily basis. I even like putting my hands to my mouth and making a blow dart noise then pointing at friends as if to say, "shut your ass up before I blow a dart up it." I mean I'm crazy retarded for that, and yet never thought to incorporate that into the strip. Amazing.

Dick Wolf

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 18:03:41 GMT

When is the term googling going to stop sounding dirty? I was sending an email to someone the other day, and I had to delete the sentence that began, "I was googling you". It still sounds... inappropriate.

BTW, wait till you get off work before searching "dickwolf."

One more weekend of this.

Big Satan monologue #6

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:38:45 GMT

Hey Austin folks, I'm doing another show at the Drafthouse the next two weekends, but that means no radio show this Saturday.

This past weekend I saw M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening. People told me that it was pretty bad and I even read that Shyamalan said that it's supposed to be a B movie. I don't often go see something because I know it's going to be bad. I usually would rather spend time pursuing entertainment that's at least trying to be good.

But oh man, I cannot recommend The Happening enough. It is fucking terrible and it's also hilarious. I think it's the most fun I had at the theater this summer. So many WTF moments. The dude with the thing for hot dogs, the speech about cough syrup, John Leguizamo, Mark Wahlberg's pedobear teaching "style." So much... so much to enjoy. I haven't seen Wall-E yet and The Dark Knight comes out later this month, but the fun bar has been raised.

Wizard Waiter

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 07:44:56 GMT

This is admittedly, one of the dumbest comics I've ever done. It popped into my head fully formed (except for the monster waiter in the last panel, in original conception he was another kind of monster). And when I get an idea with this many stupid pieces already assembled, I have to stand aside and let the idea out into the world so it can run into traffic and eat a bus.

In site news, I added an 'interact' section to the main page and cleaned up the appendix a bit.

Oh, I'm also aware that the 'sphere of energy' around the wand ended up looking like a tomato. So thanks ahead of time for pointing that out.

A Superman joke

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 21:39:18 GMT

I had to take Tuesday off from drawing because my back was killing me. I'm a tall dude and I spent too much time trying to sleep on airplanes on Monday and the end result made it uncomfortable to hunch over a drawing. Back in action now though.

Dammit. I know I had stuff I wanted to talk about here but I can't think of a thing at the moment. Blurg.

Erik's Open Letters #2

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 20:39:04 GMT

I'm going out of town next week so a new strip isn't the safest bet. If I do manage to make another one before I leave, it may not be updated on Wednesday. Innutherwurds, we'll see.

Is there someone in particular you'd like to see Erik write an open letter to? Drop me a line at mac(at)billanderik.com or leave a comment on the billanderik livejournal feed.